


thank you, i miss you, i love you

by vogelbiene



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adding more tags as we go, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Canon, Post-War, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, instead of a series I've made it one big work :), mentions of everyone's family tbqh, mentions of keith's dad, somewhat of a text fic in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogelbiene/pseuds/vogelbiene
Summary: “I really, really missed you.” He murmured, voice muffled by Keith’s leather jacket, now soaked by both the rain and Lance’s tears.Slowly returning the embrace, Keith hummed softly, one hand entangling itself in Lance’s drenched hair. This – this was where they were meant to be, what they meant to be.-snapshots into two lives that slowly find their way back to each other





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, long time no see.”

 

It was the tone of his voice that made Keith look up with a fond smile, brain processing and memorising every feature of him; he had changed.

And Keith should have expected that, should have anticipated himself for the whirlwind of emotions he would undergo once seeing Lance again after so many years.

To think the two were once partners in crime, fighting for the universe, seeking peace in an endless abyss just five years ago. It was difficult, but he supposed it was that specific environment that made the two closer than they would have ever been. Had they not stumbled across Blue, flown to space and became a _team_ , Keith wouldn’t have known Lance existed.

 

What a sad, lonely life that would have been.

 

Lance sat in the booth opposite to Keith, leaning on his elbows and folding his hands, balancing his chin upon them, head cocked to the side with a smile on his face. Keith smiled back, dark eyes filled with withheld emotion.

“You’ve changed.” Keith hummed, unsure as to what else he was supposed to say. It was one of those grey areas that they never taught you in school – what were you to say when you haven’t seen another for so long?

Lance closed his eyes and chuckled, tone low and soft. It was something Keith was going to commit to memory. “I can say the same for you; I’m glad you eventually got rid of that god-awful mullet.”

He subconsciously reached to feel the back of his neck, which was once covered with hair. Half of the reason why Keith decided to get it all cut off was that of the impracticality. The other half, well, Lance did have something to do with that. Plus, undercuts were the new thing at the time, and Keith quite liked the style on himself.

The two fell silent, Lance gazing out the diner window, and Keith staring at the ethereal glow that the fluorescent lights gave the other, highlighting the shadows beneath Lance’s eyes. He looked so very tired.

 

And it stayed like that for a while, Keith watching Lance and Lance watching the raindrops run down the window. It was enough just to bask in each other’s company for the time being.

A content smile slowly made its way onto Keith’s face.

 

* * *

 

“I’ll see you again soon, yeah?” Lance asked, eyes imploring Keith to say yes. He nodded, smile still on his face. How nice it was, to be reacquainted with Lance’s aura. How he missed the comfort, the safe feeling of being around the other. And oh, how his heart ached at the thought of letting Lance go once more.

Keith was thankful it was raining when Lance turned his back to him, walking away, back to his house, where no doubt his current girlfriend was waiting. Lance hadn’t said anything about a relationship of course, but Keith just _knew_ that it was inevitable he would get into a relationship. Who wouldn’t want to be with the Casanova who just helped save the universe?

He felt his tear ducts betray him, stinging with unshed tears, as the gap between himself and Lance grew. He wanted him back - no,  _needed_ him back. 

And so, casting aside all logical thought for that moment, Keith ran.

 

He grabbed Lance’s wrist and stood there, watching as the other slowly turned to face him, eyes teary and tired. So very tired.

No words were exchanged between the two as Lance embraced him, arms wrapping themselves around Keith as though he were the only thing that was separating Lance between life and death.

“I really, really missed you.” He murmured, voice muffled by Keith’s leather jacket, now soaked by both the rain and Lance’s tears.

Slowly returning the embrace, Keith hummed softly, one hand entangling itself in Lance’s drenched hair. _This_ – this was where they were meant to be, what they meant to be.

“I– I missed you too, Lance.” He whispered, feeling the beginnings of hot tears roll down his cheeks – his emotions were overwhelming him now.

God, Keith hated crying; it left him feeling so vulnerable, so _weak_. Yet, as he stood there with Lance gripping onto him for dear life, he didn’t _care_ that he was crying. It was a relief, if anything, that he got it out of his system – pent-up emotions were a Keith specialty. Lance just managed to bring it all out of him.

Lance eventually straightened, loosening his grip (yet not entirely letting go) and stared at Keith, bloodshot and puffy eyes melting him to the core. “I’m sorry, I just… it’s been hard, you know?”

Oh, Keith knows. Lance needn’t explain that to him.

“With everyone going their separate ways, I just felt as though… what we all had, in the end, was something that stopped as soon as the universe was safe.” Lance lowered his gaze, eyebrows drawn together in frustration. “I mean sure, Hunk, Pidge and I still talk regularly, but it’s just _not the same_.”

“I know, Lance. I know.” Keith started to slowly drag his hand through Lance’s hair now, thumb gently brushing his rosy cheeks. Lance smiled softly, fondly, and Keith willed his heart to settle.

Another few seconds of silence passed between them, gazes locked and all outside influences ignored.

“We should probably get out of the rain.” Lance eventually said, laughing airily. His grip on Keith stayed strong, even as he tilted his head towards the sky.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.” Neither of them attempted to move.

 

 

“Lance?”

“Hmm?” His grip lessened, hands now loosely circling themselves around Keith’s wrists and gaze once again upon Keith.

“Can you– will you stay a little longer?”

The smile Keith received was one of the brightest he had seen, and it sent him reeling.

“I can stay as long as you would like – I’m not going anywhere soon.”

Lance slid his fingers between Keith’s, gripping tightly, before dragging him back to the diner, grinning all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo 'sup ness here wow okay this was not a quick fic, I'm now turning this into a multi-chapter fic and I hope you can all come along for the ride! 
> 
> if you want to chat w me and possibly hear me gush about fic ideas hmu on;  
> snapchat - vogel.biene or  
> discord - vogelbiene#4580
> 
> thanks for reading and stuff <3


	2. i don't want us to be strangers again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You know, I never thought that I’d really ever get an actual date, you know?” Lance hummed, stupid grin still painted on his face. “So, this… this is a nice surprise. I want to make it special, get her some flowers, all that romantic stuff, you know?”_  
>     
>  _Keith had to keep himself from wincing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song I recommend listening to for this chapter;  
> [E I S. U - waiting...](https://youtu.be/XIWdYDQqLK0)

Keith hadn’t known where his father’s grave had been until a few weeks ago; he hadn’t bothered to actively search it until the whole defending the universe thing was over and done with.

It was as though once he had found his mother, he had a moral obligation to find his father as well. After all, if he had found his mother (even if it was by complete coincidence) it was only fair he find his father too. It would put any guilt to rest, and Keith could be content knowing where both parents were.

Hence why he found himself standing at the edge of a small, moss-ridden tombstone, seemingly untouched. He crouched down, fingertips softly tracing themselves over the engraved letters, jaw clenched and body tense, unsure what to begin with. He had so much to say; so much to apologize for, and yet, his words failed him.

But then – what would be the point? It wasn’t like his father could _hear_ him, anyway. Maybe it was just his guilty conscious acting on him; he hadn’t bothered to find nor visit his father for a good sixteen years.

The grave looked sad, lonesome with its bare marble and dust-covered surface. There were no pops of colour from flowers no leftover notes; nothing that one would lay in memory of their loved ones.

The sight of such a miserable grave caused Keith’s throat to tighten with repressed emotions; this was _his_ father, who seemed as lonely and forgotten as those who had died with no family members to carry on their memories.

Keith had to change that.

* * *

He found himself standing within the confines of a small family-run florist, perusing the plethora of coloured flowers, each holding a separate meaning unique to them. Keith wondered what flower his father would have liked.

A soft, rusted voice snapped Keith out of his reverie. “May I help you, sir?”

Biting his lip, Keith looked up and met the warm eyes of the store’s owner– he was probably in his sixties, if Keith were to guess by the number of crow’s feet around the corners, face creased with a warm grin.

He went to respond but was cut off by the tell-tale ring of the bell positioned above the floristry’s door; another customer had entered. 

Excusing himself, the man ducked over to greet the other, who’s voice sent a chill down his spine.

It was the same rather shrill voice from what seemed like ages ago, yet it had a deeper tone to it. Of course, it still reminded Keith of a strident squawk of a strangled rooster, but he _had_ grown fond of it. Such a unique tenor could only belong to one person;

_Lance._

Keeping his eyes trained upon the small bouquets of tulips that were lined up before him, Keith tried to keep himself calm. Though they had that coffee together a month ago, he hadn’t heard anything from the other, nor had he seen him around town. That meant he was avoiding Keith, right? That nothing they had done beforehand meant anything. That they should forget it ever happened; leave the past in the past.

A small bouquet to his left caught his attention with it’s unique curled petals and vibrant purple hues, making Keith slowly shuffle towards it, hand reaching out to gently brush the petals.

“Oh! I see you’re interested in the purple hyacinths.”

Keith jumped, spinning around to face both the shop owner and Lance with an expression similar to that of a deer’s who was caught in car headlights.

The assistant made his way over to Keith, smile still set in place, and Lance smiled at him. Needless to say, Keith’s heart _ached_ , and yet he continued to stare at Lance, who looked less tired than usual.

He turned away, facing the elderly man and nodded in response, smiling weakly.

“Yes- yes I am interested in them.” He paused, averting his eyes from the man’s smile. “They’re… for my father.”

The man’s cheery disposition fell, and a bittersweet smile replaced it. “I see.”

Continuing to ignore Lance’s watchful gaze upon him, Keith picked up the bouquet, examining it carefully.

They were perfect.

“The purple hyacinths… they are usually used to convey an apology.”

Yes, they definitely were perfect for his father.

“I’ll take them, then. Thank you.”

The owner nodded, taking the bouquet and ducking behind the small oaken bench, laying it out on the table and went to work wrapping it.

It was then that Lance decided to approach Keith.

He tensed once more, bracing for impact. As much as he truly did miss the other, Keith wasn’t about to forgive him for leaving him hanging for so long. There was no mention of exchanging contact details nor potential future meetings last time, and yet, Lance still felt it was appropriate to approach him as though they were old friends. Jaw clenched and fists at his side, Keith finally looked over at Lance.

“Hey.” He murmured, going to stand next to Keith’s slouched figure. Keith shuffled to his left, allowing a little more room between them.

“Hi,” Keith responded, eyes now trained on the man delicately wrapping the bouquet with brown paper. He _really_ didn’t want to deal with the onslaught of emotions that Lance brought upon him today.

It was silent between them, yet the soft crackle of paper kept their surroundings from doing the same. It seemed that neither knew what to say at that point.

“So…” Lance eventually said, turning his head towards Keith. “Visiting your dad?”

Keith hummed in response, not trusting his voice at that current moment. There was silence once more.

“Well, I scored myself a pretty hot date tonight.”

“Hm?” Keith wasn’t surprised, honestly - but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous. Name’s Erika. We met over our mutual love for too-sweet coffee.” Lance chuckled, a stupid grin spreading across his face. Another rush of heartache washed over Keith; he sounded relatively demure about it all.

“She sounds interesting.” He commented, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. The fact that Lance was talking about her so _earnestly_ , it unnerved Keith.

“I really like her, you know?” Lance continued, sighing happily. “And I really don’t want to mess this up. She’s a great person and I’m really serious about her. All that shit I used to do – the whole ‘ladies’ man’ act – it’s immature. I need to step it up a little, and I hope Erika will help me with that.”

Keith bit his lip, averting his eyes. God, he really _was_ serious about this girl – he was so mature now.

“You know, I never thought that I’d really ever get an actual date, you know?” Lance hummed, stupid grin still painted on his face. “So, this… this is a nice surprise. I want to make it special, get her some flowers, all that romantic stuff, you know?”

Keith had to keep himself from wincing.

( _I thought we already had a date, you ignorant fool!_ _Did that day mean nothing to you? Do I mean nothing to you?_ )

The florist interrupted Lance, much to Keith’s relief, and handed over the neatly-wrapped flowers. “Here you are, young man. I hope your father likes the bouquet.”

Keith grabbed it with a watery smile, mumbling a quick thank you before ducking his head and making his way to the door.

He was about to open the door when a hand grabbed his wrist, yanking him back slightly.

“Hey… do you- well, is it okay if I come with you to your dad’s grave?” Lance asked, voice low.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “I thought you had to get flowers for your date?”

Lance shook his head, a soft smile on his face. “I can always get them later, you know? Plus, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

Keith bit back the angry _“that’s your fault”_ on the tip of his tongue, instead opting to nod and smile back. “That… that would be nice. Thank you, Lance.”

Lance beamed, opening the door before Keith. “You probably need some moral support, anyway.”

Keith glared back at him, before walking out into the street, glancing up at the overcast sky and flowers in hand. He hoped it wouldn’t rain.

“This way, then.” Keith mumbled, moving to his shitty black Ford Falcon, parked directly outside of the shop. Lance obliged, getting into the passenger seat whilst Keith settled into the driver’s seat, carefully placing the bouquet in Lance’s lap.

The drive was quiet on Keith’s behalf and Lance continuously filled in for him, talking about anything and everything.

It wasn’t as though Keith _wanted_ to say much anyway; he was nursing a plethora of negative emotions and wasn’t too trusting of his brain-to-mouth filter at that point. God only knows what he could have blurted out.

Lance seemed to sense Keith’s reluctance and started to quiet down, only talking if there was something that held his interest outside.

Keith preferred it that way; left him to his thoughts and helped him ignore the lump that was perpetually stuck in his throat.

The rest of the journey was silent.

* * *

It was an easy trek to the cemetery, and Keith was glad Lance didn’t feel the need to comment on anything the last ten minutes of the trip.

Once Keith had parked in the emptiest part of the lot, the two stepped out of the car, Lance handing Keith the bouquet and Keith clutching said bouquet to his chest.

As much as it had cleared his conscious to have found his father, he was still left with the guilt of allowing his father to die with no knowledge of just how much he cared for him – even if he had left Keith to grow up on his own.

They walked through the eerily quiet cemetery, the crunch of the autumn leaves the only noise between them. Keith was amazed Lance could stay quiet for so long.

Eventually, they came to his father’s grave, still as dirty as what it once was. Keith quickly set to work tearing away the grass that grew over the plaque and wiping away the moss and mold with his spare bandana.

He stood after that, moving back and examining his word, happy to see that he could finally see the name of his father clearly. It was the least he could do for him.

“You know, Keith,” Lance started, eyes trained on the now-cleaned gravestone, “he would have been really proud of you.”

A sharp intake of breath and Keith was holding back tears. _Why?_ He wanted to ask; he hadn’t done anything too special – if anything, he was sure that his father would be more disappointed than proud at this point; his only son never bothering to even _find_ his grave until now.

He bent down, hands shakily clutching the flowers, and closed his eyes, whispering soft apologies as he placed the bouquet down on the grave. At least it would no longer be bare and untouched – a sign that a memory has been carried on.

Lance placed a careful, gentle hand on Keith’s back as he rose from the grave, eyes downcast and throat tight.

“I thought… I’d be strong enough for this. I thought I wouldn’t get emotional.” Keith mumbled head turned away from Lance and eyes boring holes into the ground. He wouldn’t look at Lance – not in this state. 

“It’s okay, Keith,” Lance eventually murmured, bringing the other into a cautious embrace. “you’re allowed to cry; it doesn’t make you any less strong.”

Keith bit his lip and pushed himself out of the embrace, eyes still not meeting Lance’s. Who was Lance to say that to him? To hold him after leaving him for so long? To comfort and reassure him after not even bothering to seek him out beforehand?

Keith balled his fists, angry tears now threatening to fall. How _dare_ he?

“What would you know, Lance?” he spat, watery eyes narrowing as they fell upon Lance’s shocked face. “You– you _left_ me. You know _nothing_ of me. Of how I should feel.”

“I didn’t _leave_ you, Keith. What the fuck are you talking about?” Lance hissed, taking a step back before continuing, “I couldn’t _contact_ you. I don’t know where you _live_. How was I supposed to find you, huh?”

Clenching his jaw, Keith rubbed his now-wet cheeks angrily. “If you wanted me, you would have found me.”

“Yeah, right.” Lance scoffed, folding his arms over his chest in a hostile manner. “Like I could go through the Yellow Pages, or stalk your Facebook account which, by the way, you don’t _have_.”

“You should have asked me to give you my number!”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t really thinking clearly then. Is it such a crime to forget things?”

“It is when I’m left alone, thinking that you only stayed that day out of pity! I thought –”

Lance raised an eyebrow in question, urging Keith to go on. “You thought what, Keith?”

“I thought you didn’t want to be around me. I thought you wanted to leave all those memories of the past – including us – behind you.” He mumbled, gritting his teeth and folding his arms over his chest, mimicking Lance’s stance.

If Keith looked up, he would have seen the softening look on Lance’s face before he wrapped his arms around Keith once more – this time in a more secure way. They tightened as Keith shakily sighed, eventually returning the embrace.

“I’m sorry,” Lance mumbled, resting his nose against Keith’s cheek. “I really am – I genuinely do care about you, Keith.”

All Keith could do was nod, mouthing a soft ‘thank you’ into Lance’s shoulder. He had stopped crying by now – thank God for that – but was still wary of his weakened state.

“Hey, this is kinda like last time, isn’t it?” Lance chuckled, letting his arms fall and stepping back to look at Keith, who was busy trying to avoid eye contact.

“I suppose,” Keith mumbled, shuffling back away from Lance and averting his eyes back to the gravestone. There really wasn’t much else to say.

After a while’s silence, Lance pulled his phone out of his pocket and hummed in contemplation.

“Hey, Keith, pass me your phone for a sec.”

Wordlessly fishing out his phone from his back pocket, Keith handed it to Lance, who laughed wholeheartedly.

“Man, I knew you were outdated but seriously? A goddamn Nokia E71? They’re like, _dinosaurs_ man.”

Keith huffed, rather put-off by Lance’s reaction, and crossed his arms. “What? It was cheap and pretty hardy. I’ve dropped it around ten times now.”

Lance handed back his phone with a snort, a wry smile on his face as Keith snatched up his worn phone.

“I’ve put my phone number in your outdated contacts list, unfortunately without emojis, so you can text me anytime.” He explained, wry smile replaced with an earnest grin. “Just so you don’t think I’m abandoning you, alright?”

Keith nodded wordlessly, placing his phone back into his pocket and smiling back at Lance. “I suppose I should drop you back off to the florist so you can get your flowers.”

“Oh, yeah! That. I probably should get those.” A hopeful look washed over Lance’s face. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

Keith’s smile turned tight, nodding as he turned around to head back to his car. “I bet you can’t. It’s not like you to get an actual girl to agree to a date.”

“H-hey!” Lance sputtered, moving to walk in stride with Keith. “ _She_ asked _me_ on a date. Joke’s on you, buddy.”

Shaking his head, Keith kept silent and walked to his car, not wanting to engage anymore. He was too tired, too emotionally drained for this, and in all honesty, Keith just didn’t want to think about Lance dating anyone then. It hurt – much more than it should have.

“We can have another coffee date, right?” Lance suddenly asked, stopping Keith from opening his car door.

“Yeah, sure,” Keith replied, moving to open the door and get into the car seat. “I’d like that.”

Lance smiled and followed suit, buckling himself and turning on the radio. Tacky pop songs filled the humid atmosphere, and Keith found himself smiling as Lance sung off-key to the tail end of Dua Lipa’s _‘New Rules’_.

Though there was a bittersweet feeling in his chest, Keith felt comfort in the situation; Lance wasn’t about to leave him. 

The silence between them was no longer there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my wonderful editor [Q](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daroost89/pseuds/daroost89) for helping me with the final touches here, and to [Dee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stickyouinawormhole13/pseuds/Stickyouinawormhole13) for helping me with my shitty writing skills. ilysm  
> again, thank you all so much for your positive reactions, kudos, comments ect ect and I appreciate every single one of you. please keep doing that, it really inspires us to write!<3
> 
> catch me at;
> 
> discord - vogelbiene#4580  
> snapchat - vogel.biene


End file.
